I think I just saw someone hide a body.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
