Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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