jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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