Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
