you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize