Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
