I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
