i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
