hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
