He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
