If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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