I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
