so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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