There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
