Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
