i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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