just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize