1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
