i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
i think my cat just said my name.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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