my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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