Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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