Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
