i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
