I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
