you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
