omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
