"it" just moved
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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