I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
my being single is dangerous.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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