im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
