She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
