Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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