Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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