the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
