After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
