Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
