It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
