My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
