doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize