There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Randomize
