so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
