This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
