that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
