My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
