i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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