Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
