Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
