He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
