Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
