i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
