Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
