I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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