Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
