i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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