You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
