Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
