is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
