3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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