if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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