this beer tastes like vomit already
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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