In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
