i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Boobs are out for the taking
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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