Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
