my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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