If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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