her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
