Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I cockslap morals
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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