She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
