If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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