we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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