its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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