Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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